I built a treehouse in my backyard. Take a look!
Blarg!
Bill's blog. Writing, guitars, gratuitous Simpsons references, you'll find it all here. Almost certainly a waste of time for both you and the author. On the internet, that's actually a plus.
Steampunk guitars by Tony Cochran
Congratulations are in order
I want to congratulate my friend, the talented writer and editor M. David Blake. SF Signal named his story, "Absinthe Fish" one of the five best short stories of the 21st Century. If you haven't read it, you can see what all the fuss is about on his website, where you can read the story for free.
Congratulations, Marc!
“The Best of the Centuries” – Reflections on What Makes A Story Important - SF Signal
Locus reviews "Lucky"
Lois Tilton of Locus wrote a short review of November's Stupefying Stories, which included my short story, "Lucky" (scroll about halfway down the page to read it). She was not unfond of it:
"More absurdity science, this time more interesting and more genuinely funny."
Not bad for my first review.
Read my story, "The Consolidated Brotherhood of Truly Bearded Santas" for free in The Again
I got your Christmas story right here, pal: A reprint of "The Consolidated Brotherhood of Truly Bearded Santas" is now available for free in The Again, an online magazine of odd fiction from the U.K. If "odd fiction" is too nebulous a term for you, here's a handy chart depicting the kind of things they like to publish. Their fiction is free, but you can show them some support by purchasing one of their stylish and functional coffee mugs.
TCBoTBS was originally published last December in Stupefying Stories, so if you've read it before, you'll have to pretend to be surprised. Visually, though, it's much different--this version has several brand-new illustrations from artist Jennifer Hung. My favorite is this image (see below) of the beloved Germanic Christmas character Krampus tearing open a package of ground beef. I'm confident we'll be seeing this soon-to-be classic holiday tableau next to the Nativity scene for generations to come.
Aw, I was saving that beef for taco night!
I hope you enjoy the story. Merry Christmas!
Lego Spinal Tap: Nigel's Guitar Room
Simply having a complainy Christmastime
Yeah, I know, I don't like Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime" either. Whatever. That guy has done more for music than most of us will accomplish in our combined lifetimes, so I don't want to hear all the snark about it.
Merry Christmas, and may people celebrate your public failures for the next thirty years.
Homemade PVC bike rack
My two boys and I built a bike rack out of PVC pipe. We used a design I found online, got some supplies at Home Depot, and got to work.
It cost about $45 in parts, some of which I can get back because I didn't end up using the PVC cement. It was a fun project and really uncluttered our porch.
The hardest part: cutting all the pieces of pipe to the correct size. It's not especially difficult, just time consuming. Also, the PVC shavings that my saw made left a snowstorm on my porch. I tried to convince my wife it made the place look like a winter wonderland.
The Beardhead barbarian collection
Hate the cold? Enjoy looking like a berserker? This knit hat/beard may be for you.
Read my story "Lucky" in issue 2.1 of Stupefying Stories
Stupefying Stories issue 2.1, which includes my short story "Lucky," is available starting today through Amazon and Barnes and Noble. I'm fortunate enough to know a few of the talented scribes published in this issue, including, in no particular order, Samuel M. Johnston, Ada Milenkovic Brown, Courtney Valdes, and Elizabeth Berger. Be sure to check out their work, too.
Here's a quick excerpt of "Lucky":
Dr. Gustaw stopped walking, turning to face Alan. “Here’s the Wikipedia version. Think of luck as a form of magnetism. It pulls you toward a certain outcome based on the positive or negative charge of certain particles.”
“Luck particles? There are luck particles?” Alan said
“Until they’re officially named Gustaw particles, yes. The guy at MIT wants to call them Ludtener particles even though I discovered them first. But that’s neither here nor there. An instance of good luck causes a buildup of positive luck particles. Bad luck, negative charge. With me?”
“I guess.” Alan wondered if he could find his way out of the building from here.
“Unlike magnetism, opposites don’t attract. Good luck attracts more good luck, and vice versa. The bigger the charge you’ve accumulated, the more good or bad luck you get. That’s happenstantial attraction. Ludtener uses a snowball/avalanche analogy, but I think it’s more cyclonic. Tornado.”
“So why am I supposed to lose an eye? Too many black cats crossing my path?”
Dr. Gustaw glared at Alan. “You don’t believe in that hokum, do you? I’m a scientist, sir, not some witch-doctor.”
“No offense.”
“You are what I call a class-four attractor,” Dr. Gustaw said. “If your test results are accurate, your luck center is a hundred times more attractive than class ones—average people.
“How many classes are there?”
“Theoretically infinite, but practically speaking, seven is as high as you could go. If you could attract more good or bad luck than that, you’d either be a god or suddenly burst into flames. I’ve met one class six, and she won two lotteries before dying in a bowling accident."